I have to make a confession: I have a tendency to invent words. In my otherwise snobby syntax and semantics, my weakness is fake words.

But hey, if Shakespeare can do it, I can too!



You know you’re from Chicago when… (part 3)

…Chicago winters hold no surprises for you.

And this  has been quite a winter. From snow to rain to Rahm Emmanuel, we’ve had it all. One Polar Vortex, Two major snowstorms, Three days of frozen car, Four snow plows total (kidding*), 50 degrees of temperature change in one week, and a Rahm Emmanuel in a pear tree which is up shit creek.

If this was your first Chicago winter, you a no longer a stranger to:


– Lake Effect snow,
– dibs (see left),
– ineffective bureaucracy,
– black ice,
– epic wipe-outs,
– precarious icicles on tall buildings,
– real temp. vs. windchill temp,
– thundersnow.

Hello, Chiberia.

*Oh wonderful snow plow people, I APPRECIATE YOU!

You know you’re from Chicago when… (part 2)

…it drives you crazy that people use city lingo incorrectly.

1) How to properly refer to the expressways:
It’s “Fifty-five,” not “THE fifty-five.” “THE fifty-five” is a CTA bus route.
(Alternately, if you were really a local, you’d call it by name. But let’s not go there yet.)

2) “Ukrainian Village,” not “THE Ukrainian Village”. You wouldn’t call Iowa “The Iowa.”

3) “The El/L” and “The Loop” are not the same thing. “The El” or “L” refers to the CTA electric train network as a whole, while “The Loop” is merely the downtown portion of it that runs in…you guessed it…a loop. (Additionally, “the Loop” can refer to the geographic region of Downtown that is covered by the loop section of the L.)

Those are the big three for now, but stay tuned for updates!

Want to see Part 1? Check here.

You know you’re from Chicago when… (part 1)

So I’m moving back to Chicago after four years of cross-cultural college experiences in The Suburbs. I couldn’t be more ready to be back in the city, and I’m bringing some people along – a couple of my college friends and I are moving to an apartment on the West Side. It has never been more apparent to me just how much of a city girl I am, and I just had to share the laughs.

.        .        .

A conversation via text message about parking at our apartment, with roommate “Shelly,” from Kentucky.

S: “Hey, on a side note, do you know parking?”
E: “Huh?”
S: “Parking at the apartment…like how it works. Lizzy asked me, and I realized we both need to know.”
E: “This is the city. Street parking. As in, you park on the street.”
S: “Ok. So do we pay the landlord? Or we just park? Haha. Because I think Lizzy has to pay at her current apartment.”
E: “Just park. No paying. The landlord doesn’t own the street.”
S: “Cool.”

.        .        .

I’m labeling this post “part 1” because I am nearly 100% confident that there will be more posts of its kind. So stay tuned…